There are lots of things I haven’t seen all the way through.
I stopped doing rhythmic gymnastics in third grade cause practice was too intense and the only candy my instructor would allow were raisins. I started cross-stitching with my teacher in fifth grade and to this day, have only gotten as far as a blue tulip and the first three letters of my name. I told myself I was would learn the guitar and never did. After years of piano lessons, I told myself I was gonna practice more, and never made the time for it. I took dance classes for a while- and I can’t remember why I quit but I did-maybe it was because the “nude” tights we had to wear were mustard colored. I’ve said that I was going to do so many things, and I haven’t. When I was convincing my mom to help pay for this blog years ago, I had drawn up a whole plan in a red sketchbook-I had lists of possible recipes and logo sketches, and my mom went along with it. I said that I was going to have a good food blog, and I haven’t been doing a great job.
I’m about to be a freshman in college and I have a problem- I’m not sure what my major is going to be. I want to be able to do something that I enjoy, but I don’t know what that is. Everyone is saying that college is the time to discover new things, but there’s an overwhelming amount of things that I want to explore. I have many interests- like tiny houses, microbiology, and art preservation. And I’m scared that I’m not gonna find what I wanna do, or worse, end up doing something that doesn’t make me happy.
But since exploring can seem a little frustrating, I will follow another piece of advice-do what makes you happy. And this blog makes me happy. I haven’t even been on here in a hot minute, but opening wordpress makes me smile for some reason.
But there is also the tendency I have that wants everything to be perfect-and I kind of want to delete everything I’ve ever published here-the editing on the pictures is terrible (I used presets on an old computer I think) and the writing is cringe-y and full of grammar mistakes (and it still is I’m sure. It’s also still cringe-y. I’m cringing right now as I write this).
But just like I promised myself that I wouldn’t rip any pages out of my journal after I wrote something I didn’t like, I won’t delete anything. (But I will go back and re-edit some pictures.)
Honestly, I wasn’t gonna continue this blog, I was actually planning on cancelling my domain and transferring everything back to wordpress.com, and leaving my Instagram page up as evidence that I gave blogging my best shot.
But I forgot that my Bluehost was on auto-renew and I was too late to cancel it.
I also hate wasting money.
I’ve returned $3 shirts to stores. As I type this, I have a pack of mini clothespins that I bought from the craft store for $2.99 on my desk with the receipt ready to return the next time I get the chance. $2.99 is a good amount of money.
So, some people say that everything happens for a reason, other people hate that saying (my opinion on that topic changes whether or not things are going in my favor), but I’m going to try and make the best out of all of this.
I am going to be in college, (right now actually. As you’re reading this, I’m packed in the car with my plants safely next to me en route to Pittsburgh, banging my head against the window as I try to sleep.) with no real clue what I’m doing, so this may be messy. I do have about 6 recipes prepped and ready to go. But after those run out…yikes. I won’t have an oven, or a stove or anything good, only a microwave, fridge, and a blender, but I like being creative. So you may see everything shift towards more dorm friendly meals as I try to eat vegetables besides the boiled unseasoned ones they serve in the cafeteria. If I manage to try that. Maybe I’ll just write. Who knows what will happen? I don’t.
So, if you’re reading this, thanks! I hope you stick around and see what happens.